Walking Zombie
Mood:  down
Topic: Rants & Raves

I am so freakin tired! I can't have a decent night's rest. Then in the daytime, Noah can't nap for more than 30 min. I don't get a break. I was ok for a while, but these past couple of days I feel so drained. These extra 30 pounds aren't helping either. I need to lose 10 pounds to get my pre pregnancy weight back, but I need to lose 20 more to be at my right weight for my height. I've been dieting. Forget about exercising. I have zero energy. The best I can do is walking outside and dancing at home when I feel ok. Hopefully the dieting will help me shed some pounds then I can have my energy back to start some serious workouts!

Noah turns 3 months!
Mood:  celebratory
Topic: Birthdays
My baby is growing up so fast! He turned 3 months yesterday. He's been trying to roll over, he can hold his head up longer, he can follow us around the room with his eyes, he watches cartoons, Teletubbies and Sesame Street, and get this: he slept ALL NIGHT last night for the first time. YES! I am so happy about that. I actually thought something was wrong and kept checking him, ironically, I didn't get much sleep because of that, lol! I love my baby so much. He's getting cuter by the minute.
Well, we're going on vacation to Florida around the 24th of this month. I'm a little nervous about taking Noah. His first time on an airplane so I'm worried about his ear and how painful it will be because of the cabin pressure. We're going to give him the infants tylenol so he won't be too uncomfortable. Then I'm worried about him getting sunburned, getting too hot, getting too cold because of air conditioners, getting sick because of in and out of hot and cold, and everything else. I told hubby it probably won't feel like a vacation for me, but he insists on going because he needs to get away from here. I agree but I'm still worried for Noah. But what can you do? There has to be a first time for Noah anyway right?

Noah's little discoveries
Mood:  amorous
Topic: Milestones
Noah discovered his hands about 2 weeks ago, so now when he's on his back he'll start staring at his hands and entertain himself for a while. He's getting so big, it's amazing. He was so tiny and thin when he was born and now he's so beautiful and healthy, thank God. He's also trying to talk. When you say something to him he'll coo or try to say something as if he's conversating with you. He loves the outdoors, he'll stare at the trees and sky for hours. I wonder how he'll react when he discovers squirrels and dogs???? He's so hyper now at 2 1/2 months, imagine at 2 years old!! I could see myself chasing after him while he's chasing after squirrels and birds.

Vaccines
Mood:  sad
Topic: Checkups
Today Noah got his second month vaccinations. He was doing ok for his checkup, even smiling at the doctor a little. Then the shots came. He looked shocked, turned red, opened his mouth and let out a huge cry. I felt so bad for him, especially when he puts his little bottom lip in a pout and it quivers. Hubby doesn't even stay and watch, he walks out the room and comes back when it's over and then takes the baby to comfort him. The doctor prescribed tylenol drops for the pain and if he gets a fever. Well, he fell asleep for now, but a while ago he was in pain and crying. I know it's necessary to get the shots, but it breaks my heart to see him in pain. We were going to go to the park for a while like the other day but decided not to because Noah was so uncomfortable. Hopefully by tomorrow he'll be ok (until the next set of shots).

Baby Noah
Mood:  amorous
Topic: Pictures

Noah is 2 months old!
Mood:  hug me
Topic: Birthdays
Noah turned 2 months yesterday. He's getting a little better with his digestive problems. We'll see the doctor on the 7th and see what she says about it. I wish he would sleep longer than 1-3 hrs. I really really really need some sleep. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and I look like one of those haggard frumpy houswives from a comic book. I look so ugly! But I have no time for myself right now. I want to exercise on my treadmill to get back in shape and I can't because of no time right now. I have to rush with my eating and what little time I have when he takes a nap to go on the internet. But when he turns 3 months I hope that's when he's sleeping longer. Other than those complaints, he's getting cuter everyday. He's gained some weight so his legs are cute and chubby now and so is his face as you can see in the pictures. I love his big brown eyes, I get lost just staring into them and he stares right back without blinking! He started smiling at us and he's trying to talk to us but no words yet, just alot of cooing, which is adorable. I can't wait until he starts talking! He's taking a nap now so I'm relaxing a little now. I hope he naps for more than 30 min!

Enjoying my baby
Mood:  cool
Topic: Pictures
Last time I wrote I was going nuts. I told hubby he has to spend more time at home to help with the baby. It gets too much sometimes by myself. Well, hubby agreed to help out. Let's see how long that lasts. The baby is almost 2 months old. He is growing so fast right before our eyes. I'm taking lots of pictures and video of him. In the meantime these are the things I'm enjoying of my baby right now: the way his face looks when he's falling asleep, when he smiles in his sleep, the little cooing noises he makes when he's relaxing, his soft chubby cheek that I kiss often (I could just eat him up!), the way he looks at me or his daddy when we're feeding him, the way he smells after a bath, the way his little butt sticks up when he's sleeping, the curious way he looks around at everything.
I know as he grows there will be so many other things to enjoy about him. These first few months have been hard but I know you can never get back this time when the baby is so small and he falls asleep in your arms or on your chest. Those are the sweet moments you should cherish.

Losing it!!!!!
Mood:  don't ask
I'm losing it. Noah is driving me nuts. The honeymoon period is over. I think he's colicky. He's crying and fussing all the time because of the gas problem, but the doctor swears it's normal and that it will pass. I'm seriously thinking of switching formula again. I cut down on pumping my breastmilk because it's too much for me. Everytime I had to pump, Noah would cry and I would have to take care of him. So now my breastmilk is not much (1 or 2 ounces per day) so I'm going to stop it. I haven't slept at all, and I'm grumpy and feel and look like shit. No time for me at all! I know it's part of being a new mom but right now I'm not liking it. Hubby could do a little more in helping out, like not running out to play chess as soon as he gets home. He needs to stay home and help out with the baby. He thinks because I'm home that I'm not tired and that I don't do anything? He needs to stay home with the baby (and I'll go to work) to see how hard it is. I need to get away for a while, just me, and come back refreshed. But that's not going to happen, right? Well I have to find other ways to cope. Gotta go, the kid is crying again......ahhhhhh!!!!!!!

Noah's 2nd appointment
Mood:  lazy
Today was Noah's second doctor's visit. He's now 8lbs and 4 oz! I knew he gained weight because my arm gets tired when I'm feeding him. He also got his first vaccination! He got the hepititis B shot. He cried and I felt so bad for him. Hubby left the room because he didn't want to see it. He's worse than me! Last night was a terrible night for us. Noah was in pain with gas problems. He was crying so much and straining to get the gas out but no use. We told the doctor and again she said it's normal as long as his stool is looking normal. She said all babies go through this during the first few months, because of their developing digestive system. She gave us a prescription for his oral thrush so hopefully that will clear up. I sterilized all his bottles and nipples. I'm so sleepy and tired but just can't seem to take a nap during the day. I always end up on the computer or watching tv, reading a book, or cleaning. Hubby just abandoned us to play chess in the park. But I let him slide because he does his share with Noah. He goes to work, he pays the bills, he always comforts Noah when he cries, he feeds him, he buys him whatever he needs. He's a good father. I can't complain. The only thing I wish for is to move to Florida. Hopefully that will happen one day.

Noah is 1 month today!!!
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Birthdays
My baby is 1 month today! I can't believe how fast that went. He's getting bigger and cuter each day. He's still sleeping through the day and at night he's being fussy beacuse of gas problems. We see the doctor on Tuesday so we're going to ask about that and also he's got a little bit of oral thrush. I suspect he got it through my breast milk while I was taking antibiotics. It was worse but it cleared up alot on it's own. I think Noah is 8 lbs and couple of ounces. He's getting heavy! I have to start practicing using the carrier that we bought. In the meantime, still no sleep for me. I'm also trying to get back to my lowcarb diet and exercise plan. Summer is almost here and I know I won't fit into a bikini this year but at least get down to where I was before I got pregnant. I want to feel good again! And look good!