Claustrophobia
Mood:  don't ask
We're headed to Florida for 6 days. A mini vacation. Sort of. I wish it was longer but that's how long hubby could take off work. While we're down there we're going to look into some hospitals and apartments. We're still not sure if we should have the baby here or move around January. We like the hospital where we're going now but I wanted to have the baby in Florida. I'm thinking it'll be easier to move and have the baby there instead of moving from here with a newborn and all the stuff we have to do. Well, we'll see what happens.
Ok now I'm going to confess about a problem that I have. Claustrophobia. It's a fear of being in small or enclosed places. So this means elevators, small rooms, trains, buses and planes. So flying to and from Florida will be very hard for me. It takes 3 hours from here to there which isin't too bad for most people, but for me it's pure torture and not fast enough. What I usually do when I have to travel for that amount of time is take a sleeping pill to calm me down, but now that I'm pregnant I can't take it. It's really serious, I start sweating, my heart starts beating faster and I feel as if I'm not getting enough air and I feel as If I'll faint. Hubby doesn't understand what I go through and he thinks I can just get rid of this problem by not thinking about it and BAM! problem gone. If only it were that easy! I take books to read, my CD player, my laptop, anything to keep me busy but the phobia can hit anytime. For example if a kid starts crying or if we have turbulance, if people keep constantly walking up and down the aisle, or talking loudly, all these things can trigger the phobia. I try to breathe deeply and calm myself down, and I do but just barely. The only way I have ever been able to relax was with a sleeping pill. What will I do now??? I was even thinking a glass of red wine might help but I don't want to take alcohol either. I need help, I know. Well, please pray for me. And if anyone has any suggestions or advice please let me know!

Week 16: 4 Months!
Mood:  lazy
I made 4 months yesterday. Can you believe it? The baby is developing more and more. This month several milestones occur: the eyelids are completely formed and closed over eyes that can react to changes in light. The nose, lips, and chin are distinct and the entire body is covered with lanugo (downy hair). The external genitalia become distinctly female or male. I haven't been able to find out yet if it's a boy or a girl. I have to wait until November 30th. I'm just dying to know. I want to pick a name and start buying baby clothes!
I'm feeling very unattractive. I'm gaining weight (I know it's to be expected with pregnancy but I've struggled with my weight all my life) my hair has no style and it's so thin, and my skin is so dry no matter how much I moisturize! Is it just me or has anybody else felt unattractive during pregnancy?

Week 15: Happy Again
Mood:  happy
I'm so happy. Good news. The inlaws have left!!! They went to Florida to visit other relatives for 2 months. YESSS!!! Bad news is that they'll be back here for 2 weeks after that, then they will go back to their country for good. So I got my privacy back, my kitchen, my husband, my happiness, my sanity, basically I got my life back. Yes, to me it was that bad. I wouldn't have minded their visit so much if they hadn't overstayed their welcome. One or two months is enough! So I'm going to enjoy this delicious time before they come back.
The doctor left a message saying I should get the flu shot. I don't know how it's going anywhere else in the country, but here in NYC there is a shortage of the flu vaccine and everyone is getting crazy. I never cared for these shots that they give at this time of year cuz I hardly get sick. But since the doctor said I should take it because I'm pregnant and high risk (because of high blood pressure) I said ok, why not. Well we went to the hospital only to find out they didn't have any vaccine left. We were pissed because nobody bothered to call us to let us know. So the doctor apologised a million times and said they will be getting more in a couple of weeks and that we'll be the first on the list. Yeah right. Hopefully I won't get sick this winter. And hopefully we'll move to Florida by January. I'm getting bigger every day. I can't wait to see the baby with the ultrasound again and see how much bigger he or she has gotten. I can't wait to find out what it is! Our next appointment will be November 2nd so I'll have to wait until then.

Week 14: Inlaw Problems
Mood:  irritated
I wish my inlaws weren't here. They've been in my home for 4 months now. Since a a little before my pregnancy. They're from another country and they haven't seen their son in 12 years. My husband hasn't been able to leave from here since he doesn't have his papers yet. So they came to see their son and his wife whom they've never met in person (only by phone). So I was excited & happy for my husband who was finally going to get to see his parents again after so long. He told me they were sweet & kind and that they would like me. Did it turn out that way? HELL NO! First of all we're from different cultures & religion. When it comes to my husband and I, no problems. We fell in love with each other and our differences was never a problem. But when it came to his parents, old fashioned as they are, it was a different story. At first they didn't show it, but little by little they would do things and say things that would lead me to believe that they were not happy with their son's choice for a wife. Especially when I announced my pregnancy, the look on their faces was, "Oh God, why? Why couldn't she have been from our country and religion?" I couldn't believe it. I called my husband right away and he couldn't believe it either. After that I've had several arguments with his mother who I don't trust. My husband keeps telling me to please be patient and to understand that they're old and they've come a long way to see him. That they will be leaving soon. Soon???? Not soon enough. They will be leaving in January and I've given them more than enough patience. This has not been easy for me. I was so stressed in the beginning I thought something would happen to the baby. Thank God nothing did. I keep praying for my baby to be safe and healthy. My husband had a long talk with them telling them that he loves me and he and he's making a family with me and that's that. So far after that talk things have been a little more peaceful. But I won't be happy until they leave. Sorry hubby, that's the truth. Am I the only one with inlaw problems? Please let me know.

Week 12: End of first trimester!
Mood:  chillin'
This week is the end of my first trimester. YAY! I'm feeling ok. Still haven't seen much of a bulge yet, and hubby keeps bugging me about it. He's dying to see a huge belly and can't wait to feel the baby kicking and moving. I'm telling him, slow down, it takes time for the baby to grow. But I read that starting this month and the months that follow is the time the baby grows quickly. Yesterday I had a combined screening done. I'll know the results in a couple of days. With those results we'll decide whether to do an amnio or not. And I have to keep checking my blood sugar to see if I need to be on any medication during my pregnancy. I got off the metformin because my gyn advised me to. Hopefully everything will be fine. So many tests and scary things to go through when you're pregnant. I had no idea.